The 365 Project Pt. II

we all get here eventually
beginnings and endings are all the same
blips on radar screens on and off again
forgetting the before and after
and in between

what happens between flashes
of light is the mystery of darkness where
we become who we really are where
there lost in the dark we are
always found

make your middles count
the riddle of the hill is in the climbing
the quickest way down
is to bow

sand becomes the glass and the
glass returns to sand like three vultures
up in the tree behind my house
still no not yet boys
maybe next year

make your middles count
the riddle of the hill is in the climbing
the quickest way down
is to bow

epw 4.19.08 perrysburg, oh

everything in its place
every nothing in its nowhere
from nothing sprouts green
again in everywhere
there is void

our hearts sutras beating
out form and nothingness our
unfortunate heads lost in
clouds formerly pieces
of oceans

we are of each other
and for each other
our blood the roads
of antiquity the spirals of
everything to come

why am i crying i still have
tomorrow but i hate calendars
now i understand what that
all means and i’m sorry i
made you to die

we are of each other
and for each other
our blood the roads
of antiquity the spirals of
everything to come

and i’m sorry i
made you to die

epw 4.18.08 perrysburg, oh

every day we try
to do our best
or something
as long as we try
we rise

i am lost again in
the forest in my
heart through
the soft pines the
wind sings

pines and the sea
always there for me
the moon and stars
always a mystery

i will not forget the
birds have eaten
the bread crumbs
but there’s no need
to return

pines and the sea
always there for me
the moon and stars
always a mystery

epw 4.17.08 perrysburg, oh

i want to get lost
in space
it’s like the ocean
so cold you can’t breathe
but it’s as big as everywhere

i’d take one last
look at
the christmas lights
below before reconciling
my differences with the moon

floating and sinking
it’s all the same thing
buoyed up
or pulled down
by something unseen
either way
you let yourself go

i want to take a
minute
and stretch it wide
pull it hard enough and
make it last as long as forever

floating and sinking
it’s all the same thing
buoyed up
or pulled down
by something unseen
either way
you let yourself go

epw 4.16.08 perrysburg, oh

not until you dip your toes
into a soggy desert
or walk across a dusty sea
will you finally know
that every contradiction
is righted in each and
every disbelief

we turn out the light to say
goodnight we wave
goodbye to taillights down
the driveway and
sometimes hello really
means goodbye i’m
raising my hand

one of everything
every year
and every year another
my basket is nearly full

maybe the wrong number
messages on my
machine are really for me
but joseph it seems
he’s in a heap of trouble
we pull our own oars
but i’m so tired

one of everything
every year
and every year another
my basket is nearly full

epw 4.15.08 perrysburg, oh

this day picked like a bouquet
burns brightly then fades
withering in a glass on the table
until in moonlight it is gone

we cut them short of our own
desire forgetting the cut
we give ourselves stealing
what it gives easily for free

seize no day
surrender and
be swept away
seize no day
be ready for anything

the glass is good for pinching
sand and killing lilies the
watchmaker an undertaker
and the florist the mortician

seize no day
surrender and
be swept away
seize no day
be ready for anything

epw 4.14.08 perrysburg, oh

what gets touched into existence
isn’t always touched
nor does it always exist
but there it is
regardless

the woods grows to and from
the sun bending and
twisting a vocabulary its
own before the
axe rewrites

i didn’t lose myself
i didn’t disappear
what now

crudely paint over the top of what
was before listen now
no more of this we’ve had
our fill let this be
testimony

i didn’t lose myself
i didn’t disappear
what now

epw 4.13.08 perrysburg, oh

over and over
and over and done
these are the best days
these are the last
wake with me tomorrow
be here the next
soon now
i’ll lay you to rest

how many flowers
countless come go and
come again when
the green is wet and the
sun is new winter’s
moon has
set and soon will you

we can relive this all again
we can relive this all again
i’ll leave it here for you

let’s water our
beds one last time
and see what new will
rise from this clay
wake with me tomorrow
be here the next
soon now
i’ll lay you to rest

we can relive this all again
we can relive this all again
i’ll leave it here for you

epw 4.12.08 perrysburg, oh

like whistles made
of bones wind blows through
and we sing
again before
our dust melts into clay

like lowering yourself
into a bathtub full of lightbulbs
careful now
be gentle
or you’ll soon be ribbons

no fetishes or shrines
no socks over our hands
will protect us from harm
or deliver us from
ourselves

like irises smell of grapes
protected by green swords
and beestings
be wary
or soon you’ll be honey

no fetishes or shrines
no socks over our hands
will protect us from harm
or deliver us from
ourselves

epw 4.11.08 perrysburg, oh

all ghost stories are mostly true
oh you poor dead what can you do
trapped here you fools what
are you holding on to

we grieve and let go but you refuse
to leave it’s ok there’s nothing you can
can say we understand go now
it’s time for you all to all leave

float away disappear
don’t you understand
once i would have killed
to be you but
that was a long time ago
now i can wait

we forgive you dying it comes to us
all how many times we wished we could
leave and when it’s time we
drag our feet and our chains

float away disappear
don’t you understand
once i would have killed
to be you but
that was a long time ago

epw 4.10.08 perrysburg, oh

there ain’t much chance
of gettin’ by
all alone in this world
everything is all too much
even the stars in the sky
every one they’ve all got names

so whatcha gonna do
sittin’ all alone
in your cave better start
looking hard for someone
who you know you won’t drive insane

and jesus
he don’t answer
his own phone
it’s either been disconnected
or no one’s home

so who ya gonna call
there ain’t much
time to get this done
everything is all too much
sooner or later the pieces fall
and where they land is where you’ll stand

and jesus
he don’t answer
his own phone
it’s either been disconnected
or no one’s home

epw 4.9.08 perrysburg, oh

you were there
but i didn’t fully recognize you
among the old and plumping
kids from school

you were the same
as then but now streaks in your
hair we held each other and said
everything

i woke up sad
but still
you can’t lose
what you never had

and later after everything
and more we rolled tape and
played weirdly knowing thurston
would approve

i woke up sad
but still
you can’t lose
what you never had

epw 4.8.08 perrysburg, oh

i was shocked
to see
jim in his
gaudy leather suit
made soft
by tannic acid
and pee
before we went
outdoors to the
halloween parade
with its egg races
and hugging contests
i squeezed too hard
and stepped
over the line
later in a gallery
some changes
were made
and i observed
pictures of furniture
and letches
in old cars
from a bed
in the center
soon it was clear
i was unwelcome
so i found
something to eat
and thought
long and hard
about minneapolis

epw 4.7.08 perrysburg, oh

today we look down and smile
every tiny sprig coiled and ready
to become every worm wakes
to make his way through the damp

today the sun will warm the backs
of our necks through a breeze still
cold with winter’s dying breath
birds wing above the end of sleep

it’s all over too soon
barely goodbye and now another
how could i have known
one year ago

today i put the basement to rest
shut down the blue fire horseshoe
tossed out the box of dust and
broken glass bulb spider hulls

it’s all over too soon
barely goodbye and now another
how could i have known
one year ago

epw 4.6.08 perrysburg, oh

i’m still stunned
i am amazed at
smallness in the
face of simplicity

the songs have
have begun water
retreats into the
soft mossy damp

o primavera
your fates ghostly
in orange groves
arrows of desire
soon to fool away

the robin and jay
reclaim branches
ready to swagger
in green and violet

o primavera
your fates ghostly
in orange groves
arrows of desire
soon to fool away

epw 4.5.08 perrysburg, oh

every saturday wished for
is a friday forgotten
how many can you afford
to miss

it’s moving too fast it won’t
slow down like cards
flipping through spokes it
doesn’t stop

today means everything now
like yesterday did then
and tomorrow will again

write every book of friday
each with no beginning
every ending a different
surprise

today means everything now
like yesterday did then
and tomorrow will again

epw 4.4.08 perrysburg, oh

most of these are whiskers
grown from follicles of morning
each touching the edges
of the day to judge its size
and see if i’ll fit

but these are faulty antennae
allowing me to pass through
each time regardless of
whatever warning is implied
or forgotten

lacking agility and grace i trip
my way through each time every
day a fishmarket in china
and glass and my attraction only
threatens to destroy it

epw 4.3.08 perrysburg, oh

rise
oh rise
and shine
erase a night of dreams
things aren’t what they seem

i showed you
where the bees were
in bowls above our heads
barefoot insensitive we didn’t know

never trust anyone
who says trust me
never believe anyone
who says believe me

rise
oh rise
and shine
every day is unmeant
we pretend they are more

trust me
trust me
i don’t believe you
i don’t believe you

epw 4.2.08 perrysburg, oh

everyone’s afraid of something
spiders dreams or dying
sometimes i’m afraid of everyone
i wish i could stay inside
and not come out for days

everyone’s mad at something
ignorance or the guy on tv
sometimes i’m mad at myself
i wish i could do it all over
and not make a single mistake

stop worrying
no brown recluse
or chain gang dreams
are going to put an end to this

everyone’s in love with something
money beauty or living
sometimes i’m in love with nothing
like everything’s a prison
and together we have it all

stop worrying
no pretty face
or sacks of gold
can make something of this

epw 4.1.08 perrysburg, oh

hope filled like so many balloons
can rise and float away tugging us
along held by strings we refuse
to let go

we are pulled down strange city
streets and through country lanes
the moment we stop looking up
we arrive

what we let go
floats higher and away
when seen by strangers
a thing of mystery
and wonder

when strange streets reveal their
patterns and the codes of backroads
deciphered grow routines it’s time
to let go

what we let go
floats higher and away
when seen by strangers
a thing of mystery
and wonder

epw 3.31.08 perrysburg, oh

march out
your lions tamed
by lambs
what flowers
will april’s fools
bring

water cycles
in and out
of my basement
pushed out
by pumps into
the yard
to sink
into the yellow grass
and return again
and again

push your lilies
and bleeding hearts
out into april
we’ll mourn the dead
and kiss new life
into everything
left behind

we will dream
of years
to come

epw 3.30.0 perrysburg, oh

crystal blue showing
through the trees
the ice melts again
the snow recedes

how many more times
how many more times

we wake and wonder
what does each
day bring but really
we bring the day

every time every time
every time every time

my three buzzards
will be back soon
to see if i have grown fat
or wasted as a rail

i don’t know what they
will make of me
they haven’t changed
and they never will

every time every time
how many more times
how many more times
how many more times

epw 3.29 08 perrysburg, oh

hello again snow
i have no choice
but to accept you
and i am amazed

no date in a book
tells you when to
come and go you
fall when you will

and this is the truth
we lost it long ago

i won’t wait when
it’s time to fall we
know inside when
it’s time anyway

and this is the truth
we lost it long ago

epw 3.28.08 perrysburg, oh

sometimes we’re stunned into sunlight
too quick to adjust our eyes
still living by sleepy moonlight flowers
trapped inside our tongues
still taste like each other

but days push envelopes of resistance
we open them dead letters all
blank sheets for us to write ourselves
into and out of lies white
paper flags of surrender

we’ve all lost us some things
might as well give ‘em away first
lighten the bones
loosen the ropes
everything be all right soon

a moment in forever means more than
an hour to a day like firefly
ovaries they are tiny but mean everything
to lightening bugs set on
sagging through summer

we’ve all lost us some things
might as well give ‘em away first
lighten the bones
loosen the ropes
everything be all right soon

epw 3.27.08 perrysburg, oh

fifty million birds in the trees
push push
they’re impatient to get on with spring
and all together chatter and sing

fifty million specks in the trees
push push
bold and lean bellies eager for seeds
from trees still to leaf in greens

for the last time this year
the moon
collapses in on itself

fifty million screams of joy and release
push push
swirling around me as the sun holds out
just a little longer each day

for the last time this year
the moon
collapses in on itself

epw 3.26.08 perrysburg, oh

we’re not growing old together
you and i
no i did you in from the start
soon one of us has to go
and we both know who

i didn’t think it would be like this
yet again
i count down to another end
this i have made myself
there is no stopping it

from now on
none as bad as this
i will do my best
i will do my best

and knowing this the seasons
cycle but
unlike me this thing will be
done and you and i will
be one i’ll show you

from now on
none as bad as this
i will do my best
i will do my best

epw 3.23.08 perrysburg, oh

ghosts and the living
haunt me the same
there’s no difference
between waking
and the dead

nothing that can be
touched is real but
everything i hold in
my arms is warm
and true

every night
we walk to the place
but we both know
better
than this

and i inscribed every
name on each of them
with my fingertips my
blood in every stone
all my own

every night
we walk to the place
but we both know
better
than this

epw 3.24.08 perrysburg, oh

i never thought
that i would make it this far
seems like everything’s made up
and that nothing’s real
here’s to fuckin’ up
let’s raise our glass
and spend it all

i remember every single time
that i was wrong
you didn’t think i was counting
but you were gone
it’s time i make amends for this
but i don’t know how

i would do anything
to change everything
that i have done
but it would never
be enough

i promise you to my
dying day that i will never forget
anything that we dreamed
would be everything
that we promised we’d
never lose

i would do anything
to change everything
that i have done
but it would never
be enough

epw 3. 23.08 perrysburg, oh

nothing rushes in
to fill this vacuum
the hollow remains
there’s no putting
your finger on
what’s not there

soon everything
is filled up with
whatever finds its
way there mostly
runoff and refuse
but i am prepared

i did this to myself
i do not know why
once i dipped in the
stream but instead
of using my gils i
sprouted legs for land

now i cannot go back
forbidden to return
the once cool water
now salty and warm
tears of my own
making but not my own

epw 3.22.08 perrysburg, oh

oceans of endings
wash over me
wash over me
i sink willingly
into your blue
and green permanence

i am here
of my own accord
i dove headfirst
into the warm brine
a sea of my own making

and as i sink
above me is the
walnut shell canoe
i left you
for your safe departure
into forever

oceans of endings
wash over me
wash over me
what have i done
what have i done

epw 3.21.08 perrysburg, oh

there you were
under our feet all along
a miracle of birdseeds
and peanut dreams

how did you do it
did you make the leap
fall through the cracks
where did you go

when hope is lost
hearts will still be mended
stitched up in miracles
and wonder

soon you’ll be back
in your socks and the
world will be new again
we’ve changed

when hope is lost
hearts will still be mended
stitched up in miracles
and wonder

there you were
under our feet all along
a miracle of birdseeds
and peanut dreams

how did you do it
did you make the leap
fall through the cracks
where did you go

epw 3.20.08 perrysburg, oh

last night listening to nico
she told me i was beautiful
and alone
she was half right
i took down the mirrors
long ago

i remember we found two
aerosol cans in a field we
tossed them
into the sky and
they sprayed us with
insecticide

everybody’s insides
are full of surprises
stop looking
in order to see

none of this means a thing
yet it’s all true every day has
passed and
the ones still to
come are undone
they wait

everybody’s insides
are full of surprises
stop looking
in order to see

epw 3.19.08 perrysburg, oh

all of us and more waist deep
formed a circle in the shallows
hand in hand we started to spin
clockwise faster and faster

and when i jumped i missed
the raft and everybody laughed
but i had already made my
plans for raw fish in france

at some point
everyone needs to escape
first chance you get
let yourself go

the spinning circle soon collapsed
in on itself made a huge splash
i soon discovered that raw fish
in france is only good for cats

at some point
everyone needs to escape
first chance you get
let yourself go

epw 3.18.08 perrysburg, oh

yesterday everything was brown
like the cold that’s trying to warm
toledo was yawning and above it
a yellow kite flew tethered to a wish

spring is ready to open its eyes
what will today bring how will i
remember another year i have
nothing to fly over this sleepy city

you can let go your string
or wind it back
everything that wakes
sleeps again

no holding out on inevitability the
spinning never stops day to night
cold to hot sunlight to moonlight
white to green to brown again

you can let go your string
or wind it back
everything that wakes
sleeps again

epw 3.17.08 perrysburg, oh

anything that can’t be undone
can still be forgiven
in the moment there is only
now and what will be

the failure of the word cuts
the cat in two the flute
silent until we stop trying
then the song returns

like trees
growing in eaves troughs
the world is where we make it

self like robes dropping away
is merciless ashamed
of our nakedness so let it go
and sing with me now

like trees
growing in eaves troughs
the world is where we make it

epw 3.16.08 perrysburg, oh

i can tell it’s almost time
you’re almost ready
to wake again
you smell of moss
and mud
hullo
hullo

how did you sleep what
did you dream did you
miss the moon
and stars did you
think you
wouldn’t
wake

it’s time again
i’ve missed you
remember me
i waited for you

take your time but don’t
wait too long there’s
water and light
enough for you
here to
awake
awake

it’s time again
i’ve missed you
remember me
i waited for you

epw 3.15.08 perrysburg, oh

morning is hollow
and strong
like bamboo
it props up each day
effortlessly
and through it
our breath sings

how many times
i have
wished you
away holding out on
night afraid you
would kill my
sad old moon

no but it was me
my hands still dusty
with the deed

but that was then
now i
hold morning
tight giver of life a
daily miracle
bedclothes of
the tired moon

as for me
my hands still dusty
but now i can see

epw 3.14.08 perrysburg, oh

all night long
turning and turning
give a dog a bone
the moment the choir intones
the last hour is the longest

a crazy plane
too powerful for the
sky explodes the holes
where everyone falls are four
feet deep in solid stone

i can’t make it stop
it won’t go away
a meal in the making
feasted upon by dreaming

the wrong house
and the wrong family
you called and i couldn’t
talk it was easter in the kitchen
and i was bound for the hill

i can’t make it stop
it won’t go away
a meal in the making
feasted upon by dreaming

epw 3.13.08 perrysburg, oh

where does it all come from
is it new or has it always been here
waiting

i skied across an ohio hillside at
night chased by a white leopard
that didn’t eat me

pictures of locker rooms
in a book i didn’t want to see
on the cover an ocean horror
a girl turning into a fish
in agony
before being swallowed
by a rusty mechanical whale

why am i so upset by this

epw 3.12.08 perrysburg, oh

i want to make a day
of sleep and for a night
stay awake wrapped
in a blanket of dark
pierced by silver
freckles of light

when it was over i
would try to remember
every second of
both and try to make
something of it even
if it was nothing

as it is
every day
i feel like
i’m losing ground
i feel like
every day i’m
further behind

just to count hours as if
they were days minutes
or seconds for each
to be lifetimes rising
and falling i would
write their histories

as it is
every day
i feel like
i’m losing ground
i feel like
every day i’m
further behind

epw 3.11.08 perrysburg, oh

i want to make a day
of sleep and for a night
stay awake wrapped
in a blanket of dark
pierced by silver
freckles of light

when it was over i
would try to remember
every second of
both and try to make
something of it even
if it was nothing

as it is
every day
i feel like
i’m losing ground
i feel like
every day i’m
further behind

just to count hours as if
they were days minutes
or seconds for each
to be lifetimes rising
and falling i would
write their histories

as it is
every day
i feel like
i’m losing ground
i feel like
every day i’m
further behind

epw 3.11.08 perrysburg, oh

the amp hum
tone arm drop
and pedal click
all a simple ecstasy
in utter simplicity
your theresa’s
entrails pierced
and burning
like no bernini
dare fuck
with his angel
no yours a beauty
in direct
shuddering communion
sculpted in vacuum
tube heat and wire
all drifting and round
and later you
with the bearded prophet
fahey
make dark the night
and cold the ground
again
before the terror
and mercury-tasting
dread
of the sea
sublime
in horror and capacity
overwhelms
desperate shouts
incapable of
overcoming
certainty
dumbfounded
by arrogance
and pointless
resistance
and here your shaking
stops
like the heart before
golden arrows
penetrate
and rend us
immune

epw 3.10.08 perrysburg, oh

we give and take away daylight
as if we can
every four years an extra day
because we don’t
understand universal clockwork

who needs clocks when we have
the stars mark
each month by hot or cold sense
of smell and the
color of light dissolved in water

none of this matters anyway
mark them however you want
returns return and back again

light and dark are made by myth
and desire there
is nothing else to know just accept
and give yourself
to the invisible coil that turns it all

none of this matters anyway
mark them however you want
returns return and back again

epw 3.9.08 perrysburg, oh

do flowers dream
of becoming trees
sick of their hollow stems
full of milk for flowers
and food for bees

what ocean doesn’t
dream of falling into the
himalayas or rolling down
the faces of lovers
before returning

we are ashes
once and again
from the ground
and back again

one day the sky
will take it’s leave and
like the moon the earth
sad cold silver dust
endlessly spinning

we are ashes
once and again
from the ground
and back again

epw 3.8.08 perrysburg, oh

and soon it was time
and i didn’t want to
let it go
but there it was
in the white room
with the drain on the floor

eventually
we’re all empty
dry hollow husks
depleted vessels
of memory

so i squeezed and
the drain did its job
and all i
wanted was to
tell you one more
thing but it was too late

and the doctor wasn’t
right his eyes wide
red and damp
showed me how
to make it nice and
neat but never happy

eventually
we’re all empty
dry hollow husks
depleted vessels
of memory

epw 3.7.08 perrysburg, oh

eventually the bubbles in us rise
there will be clarity from the hillsides
all things grow
before they die
we will rise
we will rise

behind a white flag is no place to hide
i was wrong and what i’ll pay is nothing
compared to this
before i die
i will rise
i will rise

apologies
like murdering crows
won’t save the corn
there are always
feathers
everywhere

i will find a way out of myself
somehow so none of this goes to waste
all things grow
before they die
you will rise
you will rise

apologies
like murdering crows
won’t save the corn
there are always
feathers
everywhere

epw 3.6.08 perrysburg, oh

how many last straws and camel’s backs
how many lives left in this poor cat
i’ve given it all
i’ve paid in full
this white flag is all i have left

we’ve already been through this there’s
no use trying to push me more
i’ve given it all
i’ve paid in full
besides you gave me your word

it’s almost over anyway
just a few more weeks
and i’m gone
start counting

there’s no going back don’t know what
i’d do if i could it wouldn’t change that
i’ve given it all
i’ve paid in full
remember you went after me

it’s almost over anyway
just a few more weeks
and i’m gone
start counting

epw 3.5.08 perrysburg, oh

it was still daylight
wandering
from room to room
taking one last look
i tossed
one lit stick
of dynamite
into the living
room
and out the fire escape
i leapt
moving quickly
farther away
it was suddenly dark
as made my way
down main street
when the light flashed
the street rippled
and for a moment
i was lifted
off the sidewalk
and i heard glass
starting to fall closer
but by the time it hit me
it was only water
i looked back
no pillar of salt
and everything
was gone

epw 3.4.08 perrysburg, oh

like everyone else
i live in houses made
of cards pictures pasted
on each a museum
recreated in celluloid

and last night this one
complete with cardboard
friends from the past and
open walls to the
outside collapsed

shuffle the deck
roll the bones
read the leaves
it’s gonna rain again
regardless

they all go up and
come down again get
used to beginnings and
endings change
is unavoidable

shuffle the deck
roll the bones
read the leaves
it’s gonna rain again
regardless

epw 3.3.08 perrysburg, oh

soon begins
winter’s gracious leave
accepting
receding
disappearing into the
underbrush and
overpasses

we can all
feel it softly begin
the thrush
no longer
deceived fills himself
with beginning
and sings

i begin my goodbye
everyday i was here
with you
and i will be
again

the sky plump
with blue and promise
reflects and
contains all
that pushes against it
which is to say we are
our own skies

i begin my goodbye
everyday i was here
with you
and i will be
again

epw 3.2.08 perrysburg, oh

it’s remarkable
what’s forgotten
and what is not
fishing line caught
on a car sinking to the bottom
a sea lion in a boat
his flippers poking
through the holes

all this for mercy
strange misunderstood
joy what i can’t
erase becomes
a tragedy or comedy of
helplessness that
i dove into headfirst
i dove into headfirst

and that wasn’t all
when the boats
pulled round and
everyone pulled and pulled
in i went and saw
everything attached
sad faces and everything
wrecked all hooked
to invisible lines
which i proceeded
to cut

epw 3.1.08 perrysburg, oh

venus your birth heralded
in egg whites and minerals
far less delicate than the
waves licking at your
pearlescent emergence

blown into existence
by cherubim winds
reverent and adoring
in awe of your immediacy
and immodesty

you know what it means
to drop your finger
across your breast
just enough to reveal
what later your creator
would try to destroy
insane with righteousness
repentant for the
audacity of genius
and youth

but now and forever
it is you
eternally in birth
your suspect virginity
against greens and blues
your oyster opened forever
your smile saying more
than you are willing
to admit

epw 2.29.08 perrysburg, oh

on the eve of this morning
i looked at my clock
what did it say
what did it say
it’s almost today

and here it is later and still
i look at the clock
what does it say
what does it say
it’s never today

where we are is
never where it seems
time is longer than
juniper’s green

time is no matter in our hands
the only thing to do
smash the clocks
smash the clocks
and forget today

where we are is
never where it seems
time is longer than
juniper’s green

epw 2.28.08 perrysburg, oh

soon the caterpillar will emerge
who eats all summer long
never stopping for a day
until his self-incarceration
and emergence
as a moth who won’t ever eat a thing
just alive long enough
to reproduce

something’s changing
but i don’t know what it is
there’s so much left to do
but i don’t know where to
to begin

i dreamt of bleeding hearts poking
through the snow and plumping
tiny heat sources furnaces of
abstract invention and awe
yet instead
of being full of blood they are hollow
inside like the very things
they imitate

something’s aching
but i don’t know what it is
there’s so much left to do
but i don’t know where
i left off

epw 2.27.08 perrysburg, oh

from the window
at the top of the garage
i saw everything i wanted to see
in beaver falls

cut into the side of a hill
that rolled up and over
it was everything it needed to be
the falls golden and green

childhood doesn’t
transcend illusion or myth
memory a strange loop forever
oscillating in a magnetic
field

epw 2.26.08 perrysburg, oh

sometime days
so much or so little
fanning like an undersea
anemone the ripples
moving the curtains

sometimes nights
nothing is everything
moonlight slivers work
their way through
moving the curtains

spent like coins
on so much forgotten
nothing
afraid these will be
the same

we’re not made to
make every moment
count we’re wired to miss
most everything
moving the curtains

spent like coins
on so much forgotten
nothing
afraid these will be
the same

epw 2.25.08 perrysburg, oh

as so many times before
the sun and snow play
their tug of war
the march lion prepares
to roar

it’s inevitable
it’s inevitable

the sun’s no killer winter no
tomb like sleep under
blankets a dream
time and time again
make room

it’s unavoidable
it’s unavoidable

it’s time to give in
let it wash all over you
wait for it
wait for it
you’ll know when
it's time to begin

higher and higher longer
and longer the sun
regains his
watch the guard changes
again

it’s unavoidable
it’s inevitable

it’s time to give in
let it wash all over you
wait for it
wait for it
you’ll know when
it's time to begin

epw 2.24.08 perrysburg, oh

oh how many times
again and again
i keep spiraling spiraling
down rabbit holes
vortexes
of my subconscious
through the illusion
of my self the fun house
mirror of truth
distorted for laughs
instead of horror
face to face with the
grotesque realization
that ugliness and beauty
are strange chemical reactions
firing deep inside
corpuscles and synapses
unbroken lost highways
trapped inside a
one-hundred
and forty-five pound universe
there aren’t days
weeks months
or years
only moments
each more confusing
and complicated
than the next
and it’s all so simple
when you really think about it
then forget
it’s all so simple

epw 2.23.08 perrysburg, oh

it was today about thirty
years ago today colder than
hell the mist off the river
held tight the trees in heavy
glass pulled them right down

we pressed eggs to see how
much they could take and i
was surprised it was so much
before the pop and fingers
wet with almost chickens

i found this all
in an old notebook
i don’t remember any of this
but it’s got my name
all over it

i slept for two days in a bed
full of leaves it says here they
smelled like dirt not in the
bad way like cardboard or
death but like how it is outside

and there’s a note it should
be filmed in color that there’s
never enough black and white
and it should stay like that
too much color’s got me down

i found this all
in an old notebook
i don’t remember any of this
but it’s got my name
all over it

epw 2.22.08 perrysburg, oh

at the old athletic field
it was redwing
before we crawled up
and over the door to
find the cupboards
bare

and that wasn’t all arms
sore we were
hungry then they took
our names and told us
that it really wasn’t
redwing

has the hole
been dug for me
i am ready to fill it up
now

after so many laps
it became
something that i wanted
there we all were playing
something it was
redwing

has the hole
been dug for me
i am ready to fill it up
now